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We recently reported on the death of a very famous bird…Alex the African Grey. This story still saddens me, as I have been following the progress of the research of Dr. Pepperberg and her staff, and new of the death sort of hit me.
This got me thinking about all the birds I have lost in the past, and in some cases how devastated I became. And now I think about how the loss of the few pet birds I have will effect me…..
How do you deal with the loss of a pet? Can you deal with the depression? Can you function enough to think things out and not be totally devastated by the loss? It’s not possible to answer this. But maybe you will find yourself in a position to help counsel someone who is going through this.
Over the years we have been in this position. Pet owners have called me, inquiring on buying a replacement bird, and they end up talking to me for hours about their pet and how much they miss them. I would take the time to listen, give some gentle advice, and try to help them through this period of grief.
YOUR PET HAS DIED. WHAT DO YOU DO NOW?
It may not seem obvious, but if you have more then one bird in your home you need to investigate the cause of the birds death. Failure to immediately identify the cause of death could end up costing you even more birds.
The only good way to find the cause of death is to take your bird to a qualified avian vet and have an avian necropsy (autopsy) done. This will help to identify any disease that may be transmitted to the rest of your birds, poor diet, or other health issues.
If the bird died as the result of an accident, be sure that the problem is corrected so it won’t happen to other birds.
DEALING WITH GRIEF
I am sometimes amazed at the attitude of people. They do not seem to understand how attached people become to their pets. After spending their day with them, caring for them and playing with them, a huge bond develops. The loss of that pet is devastating!
The entire grieving process is no different then losing your parents, children, or best friend. First, there is the shock of their death. Time freezes, nothing is important any more. They become bewildered and depressed.
Then anger sets in. How did this happen? Who do I blame? Was this the cause of something I did (or didn’t) do? Guilt and fear take over your life.
Depression sets in. They feel saddened by the loss, drained of energy and overwhelmed with emotion.
After some time passes, acceptance takes over. They realize that their life will never be the same, but they must move on. But they will certainly never forget. And with the help of friends, they will eventually recover from their loss.
HONOR YOUR PET
A pet owner will never forget their loved one. And there are a number of ways to continue to honor them.
Make a donation to local agencies that help pets. The Humane Society, a rescue agency, or even for research. There are several organizations that do research into various bird diseases that can always use the support.
There are several websites that have set up memorial sites for your pet. At http://www.rainbowbridge.com has a virtual pet cemetery where you can post pictures and other information about your pet. They also have a grief support center if you just want to talk.
Plant a tree, shrub or flowers to honor your pet. Keep pictures of your pet around your home.
But never, ever forget your pet.
SHOULD YOU GET ANOTHER PET?
That has to be done when you area ready. Don’t rush out and get one the day the pet dies. You must first honor your deceased pet before moving on. You will know when you are ready.
Understand that when you get your new pet, it will not be the same bird you had. The personalities will be different, and you will have to go through a new learning phase. Be patient, things will work out.
DOES THE BIRD’S MATE SEEM DEPRESSED?
Some birds won’t handle the death of a cage mate. Other birds will get along fine. There are many tales about birds mating for life, such as the Lovebird or Doves. This is not the case. They will take on new mates. But they are also capable of feeling the loss. This is also true if they lose their owner. We have taken in a number of rescue cases where the owner died and nobody wanted the bird. The bird was in obvious depression and showing signs of health problems. After a few weeks of giving the bird love and attention, they have fully recovered. They were later sent to a new home.
So keep in mind that the pets may need some grief counseling just as much as the owners.
[tags]pet bird death, parrot death, bird death[/tags]
#1 by a sad man on April 4th, 2009
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I am very sad that my pet bird is dead .
The bird is very cute .
http://scholar.myweb.hinet.net/bird.htm
#2 by John Royer on April 24th, 2009
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My wife and I just lost our lovebird of ten years. It is incredible how much hurt occurs over the death of a little ball of feathers weighing in at about an ounce and a half.
Our other parrot, a Jenday, and the best of friends with the lovebird looked lost. She moved on to bond with us more closely than ever. We are glad she did not go into a depression and start feather picking.
I thought it would help to write this with the other feathered on my shoulder but it hasn’t. Only time will heal me and my wife.
#3 by Karen on April 26th, 2009
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I just lost my lorikeet of 15 years. I cannot believe the sadness that me and my husband feel. It feels like we have lost our best friend. We will miss his goodnight kisses and having him around when we are alone. He was loved and cared for so much. No one can understand how attached a person can get to a little tiny bird but you do. God bless you always RedBird.
#4 by Rhiannon on April 30th, 2009
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My daughter and I just lost our pet conure, Sweetheart, last night. The last thing I did was shoo her off my shoulder (we never clipped her wings, so she was constantly on one shoulder or another)… and then a few minutes later my daughter comes to me saying that our dog was playing with Sweetheart in the bathroom and hit her – that she was just lying on the floor and wouldn’t get up.
I thought she might have been in shock – her eyes were open half way, I thought she might have still been alive, so I tried to give her CPR but then I felt the emptiness between her head and her little body and realized that her necked had snapped.
My daughter and I have been crying since. It all happened so sudden and so unexpectedly, I’m still in shock. Our dog, Anya, loved that little bird – they were such good buddies, I know she wouldn’t have hurt her on purpose.
I held her close until I felt her little body start to cool and stiffen, then I found a nice box and I laid her in it, then taped it up and laid her to rest in our backyard. It’s so hard to believe that she’s gone.
#5 by angela and corkey on May 19th, 2009
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I am truly sorry for everyone’’s loss…this is a pain, I know too well.
I lost my best friend, Corkey on January 30, 2009. He was a Quaker Parrot that has filled my life with joy and unconditional love for 16 years.
I drove home from work tonight, crying my eyes out and am still crying now, from the pain and emptiness that fills me.
I have never felt such sadness and emptiness in my life…they say time eases the pain, but, I still cry daily and my life feels so empty without him..and most days, I wonder how I can even go on, without him in my life.
I will always love you, my little Corkey Porkey.
#6 by angela and corkey on May 19th, 2009
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http://www.geocities.com/angatplay/
I made a memorial web site for my baby, and thought I would share it here too.